Quantum Conundrum Review

Score: 2.5/5
Developed By: Airtight Games
Available on: PC, PS3, 360

Quantum Conundrum comes into the market in a tight spot. Not in terms of being pushed aside by bigger budget titles, but because of its very strong ties to Portal. First of all Kim Swift, creative director of Quantum Conundrum, was also the project lead of Portal. Furthermore, the way both games are designed are extremely similar. They're both first-person puzzle-platformers with a crazy amount of buttons, cube-shaped objects, and red lasers.

Quantum Conundrum drops Portal's titular mechanics in favour of dimension-changing puzzles. There are four dimensions here; Fluffy, Heavy, Slow, and Reverse Gravity. You start off only being able to use the fluffy dimension, where everything is ten times lighter, and everything ramps up from there on in. The puzzles make good use of all the dimensions, urging you to flick between them like you're frantically surfing channels. Most of the puzzles are pretty fun to complete and have clever solutions. While the trick of solving the puzzles is usually pretty intriguing, it is also quite easy. You can blow through the game in about 5 hours. None of the puzzles are really head-scratchers, instead you just need to wade your way through them.

The story is halfway between non-existent and a cup of lameness. You play as the 12 year old nephew to the owner of the mansion you find yourself in. There isn't much of a set-up for you being there and you never really experience any notion of who you're playing as. The only time I was reminded that I was a child, was in a few places where my viewpoint felt oddly low to the ground. This also lead to some noticeable platforming issues where it was difficult to place my feet accurately. Following that half-hearted introduction, the story mostly shambles along like a flickering ghost.

This game has some severe let-downs. Most obvious is the terribly unfunny writing. Like Portal, Quantum Conundrum has a disembodied narrator. However, your uncle who is trapped in an alternate dimension, Professor Fitz Quadwrangle, is no GlaDOS. Quadwrangle is described as quirky and peculiar, but he is nothing of the sort. The mild drivel drooling into your ears is so utterly boring and dull that the game would probably be better without any voice-over at all. Voiced by John De Lancie (Breaking Bad, Star Trek: TNG, My Little Pony), the Professor ultimately comes across as a smug and condescending jerk. When he says things like “Apparently you feel you don't need an advanced degree in robotics to operate that” it feels more annoying than witty. You'd rather he kept his mouth shut whilst you're risking your life to save his.

Some of the humour feels weirdly out of place too. The notes which appear onscreen after you die feel bleak without reason. The game flows with bright, happy colours and almost appears child-like but the second you die you're given descriptions of things you'll never get to see because you're dead. In theory, these notes should be rife with dark wit. Unfortunately that humour was only wishful thinking.
Your surroundings also start to wear on you after a short while. At first the colours and art style seem pretty charming, but they never ever change. Almost every single room is aesthetically exactly the same which isn't helped by the ridiculously repetitive hallways between each puzzle room. The repetition isn't the only issue with the setting, the house is filled with stuff but none of it has any substance. You feel the creators wanted a mansion bursting with character but just didn't know how to follow through with it.

I really wanted to love this game. I loved Portal and this seemed like an interesting side-step from the franchise. What I'm left with though is a half-baked, ill-witted, yet admittedly fun-to-play, watered down Portal. In Portal everything ties together and makes sense, but here everything is filed under 'quirky' and sent out to die. Luckily though, the dimension twisting saves Quantum Conundrum from its bland design, lacklustre writing, and wonky platforming. The dimensional puzzles are enjoyably clever enough to carry you through its short 5 hours. If you're a big puzzle-platformer fan who isn't too fussed on story then it's probably worth picking up. However if you're expecting the magic of Portal, you won't find it here.

Portal Retrospective Review

Score: 5/5
Developed By: Valve
Available on: PC, Mac, PS3, 360

First off, if you’re somehow completely oblivious to the existence of the game Portal, you should stop reading now. Throw your keyboard at the wall, click wildly until you land at Steam and download it. It may sound superfluous, but it really is an important piece of media from the last few years. Developed in 2007, Portal casts you as Chell, a woman with a portal-shooting gun (hence the namesake), attempting to make your way through a series of test chambers. The game is mostly comprised of puzzle rooms requiring you to move boxes, flick switches, and use portals in every conceivable way. All the while a robotic voice explains your progress with sharp wit.

GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System), the robotic voice, is now infamous all over the internet for that same humour. Delivered by voice actress Ellen Mclain, the subtle, clever lines give the character of GLaDOS real depth. Her humour is definitely on the darker side of things. Lines like “Cake, and grief counselling, will be available at the conclusion of the test” provide a snappy narrative backing for your adventure through the increasingly dark and unravelled building.

The game’s mechanics and narrative are quite deftly paced. As you start the game, you are without the portal gun. However the developers slowly introduce different techniques applicable for certain puzzles, one step at a time. You actually have to complete a fair few test chambers before you are able to shoot the two separate portals. Robin Walker, a developer at Valve, described it as Portal being “an extended player training exercise. We spend a huge portion of the game introducing a series of gameplay tools, then layering these tools into increasingly difficult puzzles.”

The story works in a similar way. GLaDOS is originally an uncomplicated robot explaining basic mechanics to you, but throughout the rest of the game she slowly becomes more and more complex and animated. The pacing with which GLaDOS becomes a real 3-dimensional character, whilst also revealing Aperture Science’s deep, dark secrets, is the real genius of the game. The puzzles may be confoundingly fun and intricate, but the darkly whimsical GLaDOS shines the brightest.

Some of the lines spoken in Portal are incredibly ingenious, especially in context. Comments like “Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death” are tasty humorous treats thrown at you constantly. Neat touches like adorable, yet deadly, turrets spouting feedback like “I don’t hate you” when you knock them over, flesh out Portal’s inherent comedy. The writing of this game really is one of the greatest pleasures in videogame history.

While Portal can be finished first-time-through in about four hours, every second of every minute is superbly satisfying and smile-inducing. Even at five years old, and after finishing it upwards of ten times, Portal still makes me laugh with ease. The lines are just so unassumingly hilarious, seemingly without effort. I would highly recommend Portal to anyone who likes anything, particularly if you have a good taste for dry and dark humour. So for science’s sake, you better get testing.